


A Very Fishy Christmas and A Fishy New Year

by anonymonypony



Category: Free!
Genre: Christmas, Crack, Festive fic, Holiday Season, M/M, New Year
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-31
Updated: 2013-12-31
Packaged: 2018-01-06 22:42:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1112386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anonymonypony/pseuds/anonymonypony
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Christmas 2017 to New Year 2018. Rin lives in Australia and Haruka decides to visit with his parents. They go to places such as the Sydney Fish Market and Bondi Beach, and Rin learns some hard lessons about letting Haruka go near fish. Harurin focus, but takes place within a firmly established Free!some.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Very Fishy Christmas and A Fishy New Year

**Author's Note:**

> Much thanks to user potionwine for squeezing in a quick look at this at short notice.
> 
> This fic is actually a direct continuation of my Australian Rin fic, despite the fact that the Australian Rin fic is not complete. While it works as a standalone, it actually contains a lot of spoilers for the Australian Rin fic itself...if anyone cares about this sort of thing.

_You better watch out, you better not cry, you better not pout, I'm telling you why_

[132 sleeps to Christmas]

H: Rin

H: Is this true

R: What. What’s true?

H: http://www.sydneyfishmarket.com.au/FISHline/SpeciesInfo/Mackerels/tabid/265/Default.aspx

H: Your English is obviously better than mine

R: I don’t get it

H: It says that mackerel can be found along Australia except the very southern coast

R: So??!?!

H: I’m not visiting you anymore

R: Do I look like I care It’s 4am and I have to be up in an hour for training fuck you Nanase Haruka

 

[one hour later…]

Rin wakes up five minutes before the alarm goes off. He tries to will himself back to sleep, because those extra five minutes are precious, all the more precious after last night’s unwelcome interruption from that damn Nanase Haruka, who keeps ungodly hours and intrudes when he will. _Fucking fuck fuck I don’t think I caught enough sleep last night and coach is going to murder me we’re right at the end of a high intensity training mesocycle and he wants to see me go softer than an overcooked noodle by the end of today fucking fuck fuck Haru I hope he’s joking._

The anxiety is building and Rin peels his eyes open to check the time right as the alarm on his phone goes off. He turns the alarm off before the first ring is done, and he realises there is a flurry of text messages following his sleepy-angry reply to Haruka.

H: You didn’t have to reply

H: No one said you had to reply straightaway

H: You could have slept on and replied when you’re up

H: I booked my tickets

H: To Sydney

H: Mackerel is too difficult to find in Melbourne

H: I’m bringing my parents to Sydney

H: You can see me there or whatever

H: I don’t care

H: We should drive up to the Gold Coast too

H: Rent a boat and go fishing

H: Mackerel is abundant in the waters off Queensland

H: Maybe see the Great Barrier Reef before it’s gone

H: 23 Dec to 6 Jan

H: You don’t have to show up

H: But my parents really can’t speak English

H: I won’t hate you or anything

H: Arrive SYD 0725 JL 771

 

[two sleeps to Christmas]

"Hello obasan, ojisan, did you have a good rest?"

"Yes, yes, can you believe we got the free upgrade to business class? Only poor Haruka didn’t get the upgrade and was stuck in economy."

_Right. So Haru’s parents share his enthusiasm for getting a good deal for the least amount of money, and Haru is looking extremely surly at not getting that free upgrade, and really, why did I sign up for this?_

"Makoto sends his greetings," Haruka grunts in a startlingly ape-like manner. This is the first time Rin notices that Haruka can resemble anything so unfishy.

"Yeah, I know, busiest time for tutoring at the juku and all." Sometimes Rin wonders if he spends more time talking to Makoto than Haruka ever does, even though Rin has to conduct his talking electronically. _Well, I definitely win by word count._

Haruka doesn’t deign to reply, and turns away to busy himself with the luggage while Mr and Mrs Nanase decide to fuss over Rin.

It is almost too difficult for Rin to believe how adorable the Nanase parental units are, despite the fact that they are trying to shove packets of dried fish into his face. Both are small in stature, with greying hair and cheery smiles, seemingly exhilarated by the sheer luck of getting to escape a brutal winter.

"Obasan, are you actually allowed to bring dried fish into Australia? How did you get it past quarantine?" Rin asks Mrs Nanase, with heart palpitations at the thought of the Nanase parental units being featured on that dreadful stereotype-perpetuating TV show about border security, while Mr Nanase excuses himself to the toilet. All those times Rin got stopped by customs at the airport whizz through his brain like a slideshow. _Why? Is it because I'm a young, single male travelling alone? Is it because I—let's admit it—look like a total slob every time I pass through airport gates? But don't they understand I'm just trying to be Australian? Can't they see how hard I try to fit in?_

Haruka immediately turns to Rin with serious consternation. "Don't you know the laws of your own country? We simply declared it and they let it through."

 _Is he so insufferable as to seize on every opportunity to antagonise me?_ "I don't know because I've never had the need to bring in _dried fish_ , okay?"

"There there, play nice, boys," Mrs Nanase says halfheartedly, out of a parental obligation to stop immature quibbling whenever it happens.

"Ta-da!" Mr Nanase interrupts, bursting onto the scene twirling around with his arms raised above his head in some impression of a hula dance with jazz hands. With their arrival at the Sydney airport, Mr Nanase insisted on changing into the gaudy Hawaiian shirt he bought all those years back on his only other trip this far abroad. Mrs Nanase seizes the opportunity to dangle unwelcome hints that it was the fortuitous occasion on which Haruka was conceived.

Tragically, the vicissitudes of life brought with it expanded horizons, and the Hawaiian shirt, psychedelic dye faded like a long-held memory, had to be left unbuttoned over a plain white singlet.

***

"Sydney Fish Market," Haruka utters the moment they get into Rin’s maroon Subaru Forester XT, the XT part of which Rin tries to show off to a resolutely unimpressed Haruka. _Look at my turbocharged engine! Look how it roars!_

" _Boys_ ," Mrs Nanase says dismissively. "Always going on about cars. Haruka wants a car too."

"That's so gender essentialist," Rin hisses under his breath to Haruka, vrooming the engine for emphasis.

"Okasan, Rin says you're being gender essentialist," Haruka deadpans, stubbornly unhelpful.

"What is 'gender essentialist', Rin-kun?"

Rin smacks a hand to his forehead and glares at Haruka. _How the fuck is a person supposed to explain these concepts to the older generation?_

"Ah, obasan, it's like when you stereotype people and assume they are the same because of gender."

"Hah?" Mrs Nanase asks helplessly.

"It's like saying I must like blue because I'm a boy," Rin tries again. "But that's not true because I don't like blue."

"I know you don't like blue," Mrs Nanase whispers like she was confiding a secret. "Because you like Makoto.”

Rin sputters and nearly crashes the car. "Huuuh?" he cries in alarm, before he can stop himself.

"It's okay," Haruka suddenly murmurs, pawing at Rin's arm as if trying to comfort Rin but the touch only makes Rin ticklish. "Okasan thinks the two of you make a very cute couple."

"It's nothing to be ashamed of," Mrs Nanase declares. "I saw in the news that _gay homosexuals_ can marry in Australia. You must not forget to invite Haruka to your wedding. Always remember the support of your friends."

Rin glowers at Haruka with a look that clearly says Haruka has a lot of explaining to do.

"Sydney Fish Market," Haruka says, assiduously avoiding him.

All this impudent behaviour is making it hard for Rin to concentrate on driving. "I’m not your taxi driver. Obasan, ojisan, where would you like to go?"

"The hotel if it doesn’t trouble you too much, Rin-kun."

"…Obasan, ojisan, I’m afraid there is no hotel. We are staying in an Airbnb rental because Haruka says it’s the best value for money and does not come with unnecessary frills like an untouchable minibar and daily towel replacement."

"What is Airbnb?" Mrs Nanase asks, clueless as ever.

Haruka has taken the moment to stare out of the window, as if attempting to melt into oblivion.

_For fuck’s sake, Haru, do I really have to do all the talking for you? Is this what Makoto has to put up with day in day out? Oh my god I think Makoto means to inflict Haru on me. Maybe this is why he is so untroubled about not getting to come along._

***

With well-placed cajoling, in the form of a non-stop haranguing of Rin, Haruka finally manages to get his way. The party of four find themselves at the Sydney Fish Market at lunchtime after putting their things down at the rented apartment, which had proved to be a great deal for the price per night after Rin spruced it up a bit. Rin is pleasantly surprised to find that the Nanase parental units apparently have only a mild enthusiasm for fishkind and it is only after Rin promised that the Sydney Harbour is far more beautiful at sunset did the parents agree to visit the fish market first.

"Rin, take a picture of me," Haruka abruptly demands in that breathy way of his, thrusting his phone into Rin’s hands. Standing stock-still like a stony statue, he patiently waits for the camera click to sound before resuming movement, snatching the phone brusquely from Rin to inspect his unsmiling photo.

"Do you want a photo with your parents?" Rin calls out, as Haruka hurries inside the market, reeled in by the smell of fresh fish that Rin can only identify as salt and metal. _Not particularly appetising._

Haruka either does not hear him or he has no interest in being photographed with his parents. Rin wonders if Haruka’s parents know what kind of an unaffectionate ingrate of a son they have.

Inside the market, Haruka transforms into a different person. He suddenly lunges to grab his mother by the sleeve, and begins pointing out with great fervour the different species of fish on sight.

"That is snapper, and this is bream. Rin and I had bream the last time I was in Australia. We caught it ourselves and baked it in a salt crust. I can still recall how moist the flesh was..."

Something else catches Haruka's attention.

"Look! Look! The market is open round-the-clock starting from today! The market is not going to close until Christmas day. We have forty-eight hours to buy and eat fish!” Haruka is mechanically hopping up and down on the spot and slapping his mother on the arm with the same fervour as dying fish thrashing about. _What uncharacteristic behaviour._

"Is that really what the sign says?" Mr Nanase mutters conspiratorially to Rin under his breath. "Rin-kun, it would be extremely kind of you if you could tell him that he has misread the sign and that it will be closed in two hours’ time."

Steeling himself, Rin steps up to grab Haruka by the elbow and pry him away from the festive sign trumpeting the market’s continuous operation from 23rd to 25th December.

"Come on, Haru, we’re only here for lunch. Since nothing is open on Christmas day anyway, let’s come back tomorrow to buy some stuff for a nice Christmas meal."

Haruka’s eyes widen; they gleam like pools of sapphire at Rin’s words.

"Rin. Will you cook for me again?"

"Er, we can cook together. You’re a good cook too, you know." Rin has to suppress the urge to curse audibly. He most certainly did not agree to come along on the Nanase family holiday as chauffeur, nor as porter, nor as housekeeper, and most definitely not the live-in cook.

There is a small hint of distress entering Haruka’s face, so Rin decides it’s time to distract him with the shiny.

Shiny, shiny mackerel, gleaming like blades of silver, shimmering in the light with their iridescent stripes of blue and grey.

"Take a photo! Take a photo!" Haruka exclaims, a flurry of motion as he searches for his phone. He presses his face very close to the pile of freshly-dead fish gaping open-mouthed on the steel worktop of a fishmonger.

_Is that…is that a hint of a smile I see?_

Rin snaps a photo for Haruka with Haruka’s phone, and then immortalises the smiling Haruka with his own phone. He immediately sends the photo to Makoto, spurred by a sense of urgency.

R: OH MY GOD LOOK AT THIS MAKOTO HE ONLY SMILES FOR FISH WHAT THE HELL SAVE ME MAKOTO

Five minutes later, Makoto has the cheek to merely reply: (*^▽^*)

 

[one sleep before Christmas]

'Twas no night, for it is day. Daytime, and the smell of char seeps up his nostrils, the burnt smell of the Australian summer. The house is quiet. Rin stirs.

Rin is lying on his bed. Gradually, he remembers that last night was real and actually happened. It’d started off so well, sunset at the Harbour by the Opera House, Haruka deliberately walking twenty metres behind his parents so he could hold Rin's hand out of their sight.

And then there was dinner, in which there were crustaceans, sweet, glorious crustaceans, fresh and buttery with that bouncy, firm texture, but then there was alcohol, and then there was watching the Nanase family get drunk while being designated driver, and then there was Mr Nanase dancing with lobster claws like they were castanets, and Mrs Nanase talking loud and proud about Haruka's achievements, and then there was Haruka sinking lower and lower into his chair with embarrassment while at the same time downing a continuous stream of Pinot Grigio, and the alcohol-soaked Haruka being let loose at the fish market again because he was so pushy about going there, Haruka staring googly eyed into a yellowfin tuna, Haruka nearly making out with a grouper, Haruka unable to keep his hands off the rows of shucked oysters, glossy and plump.

Rin catches a whiff of oily fish amidst the smokiness of the air. Smoke? Fish? He jumps out of bed and vigorously cranks the window open, sticking his face as close as he can to the flyscreen without touching it.

"Oi, Haru! I thought we’re leaving the barbie for Christmas Day!"

Haruka calmly flips a grill basket of fillets over on the barbecue. "I thought it would be better to do a trial run."

"What the fuck is a trial run? Do you know how much time it will take to clean up? Your mother wants to go shopping."

"If Haruka is cooking I will give him all the time he wants," Mrs Nanase says, beaming with pride at her son's culinary prowess.

Mr Nanase, who has been sitting in a corner of the yard under an umbrella, waves a can of beer frantically and says, "But I want to go shopping!"

"Whatever. You can all go shopping. I will stay here with my fish."

Haruka proceeds to lovingly plate the bonito fillets, drizzling a dash of sauce with it. Mrs Nanase takes a plate from him with great excitement, always eager to taste her son's cooking.

Rin pulls on a t-shirt and skinny jeans, dashing out of the house to grab a plate for himself. Haruka looks down at him disapprovingly as he passes Rin his serve. The bonito fillet is seared on both sides but left slightly raw in the middle, kind of like in aburi sushi, and the fish is melt-in-the-mouth good. _Fine, Haru wins this round._

With a bit of elbow grease and the power of teamwork, the cleanup is done in a jiffy and they pile into the car once more.

"So, Rin-kun. How is Christmas celebrated in Australia?"

"Er...," Rin stutters. It makes him uncomfortable to speak for anyone but himself. "I lived with my relatives for most of my time here. They're um, Japanese too, you know. I mean, they're Australians now, but they were from Japan. So we're not the authority on Christmas or anything. But we did have some turkey and mash and always panettone—that was our favourite. It's this Italian cake thing. Some chocs and lollies. My Aunty Lisa sometimes went to church for fun and there was pavlova and sausage rolls. Cordial drinks, mince pies, lamingtons? But we're not religious and we don't really have a reason to celebrate, so more often than not we just went to Asian places, or Maccas, for food if anything. Boxing Day is the real joy."

"Shopping!" Mr Nanase exclaims, clapping his hands with joy. "Do they do fukubukuro here?"

"Don't buy unnecessary things," Haruka nags at his father, sounding like he does whenever Rin mentions an end-of-season sale.

Rin turns into Westfield Chatswood. It's going to take ages to find a parking lot and he can't quite evict his passengers.

***

R: Look at this, Makoto! Look look look!

M: Wow, that looks amazing! Did you make it yourself? It looks like you got it at a restaurant!

R: Weeeell, I made it with Haru, but that's not the point. Look closely.

M: I see something very delicious and professional-looking that is making me hungry right now.

R: Stop missing the point, Makoto. What are those red chunks of stuff, you tell me.

M: If this is paella...then that must be chorizo. Am I right?

R: BINGO!!!! DING DING DING DING IT'S NOT FISH!!!!!! NOT FISH, MAKOTO. NOT FISH!!!!!!

M: Are you that deprived, Rin? Should I be concerned?

R: IF YOU LOOK AT THAT CORNER YOU CAN SEE CHICKEN TOO. MEAAAAT. MEAT.

M: Okay Rin, I am concerned.

R: Frankly I'm surprised that boy hasn't got scurvy or anything.

M: Paella sounds like a wonderful compromise between the two of you. I am glad you got the chance to have some meat. (*^▽^*)

R: Hah! Stop with that smiley Makoto. I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, "will Haru and Rin cook this for me next time?"

M: That is untrue!

R: Okay, then were you thinking "I want Haru and Rin to feed this to me wearing nothing else but aprons".

M: You're such a terrible mind-reader, Rin.

R: Practice makes perfect. Can't let you corner the market in mind-reading.

***

With dinner wound down, the Nanase parental units are trying to stay awake until midnight but the Tempranillo wine they had during dinner is threatening to thwart their plans. Mr Nanase is nodding off intermittently in front of the television, which is currently broadcasting another one of those Nordic Noir crime dramas that Rin hears people talk about.

"Do you have variety shows? Something more exciting?" Mrs Nanase asks, looking at Rin.

"The kind of show that is an assault on all the senses," Haruka grouses, seemingly pained by the suggestion.

Rin is appalled by Haruka's straightforwardness. Do people do that to their parents? What a lack of respect! Rin feels a sudden urge to slap Haruka. It occurs to him that perhaps the majority of parents have to put up with this—lippy, impertinent children always curdling with a surfeit of soul-sucking angst. _Where are Haru's manners?_ Rin would never say something like that to his own mother.

But Haruka would probably complain in return about the extremely _dere-dere_ way Rin speaks to his mother. _He's just jealous._

Mrs Nanase smacks Haruka playfully on the side of his head and Rin decides it might just be the way the Nanase family expresses affection for each other.

Feeling like he misses his own mother, Rin excuses himself away from the living room to give her a call. He has no idea what part of the world she's in right now, but given that it's almost midnight in Australia it is probably a normal, active time in any other part of the world.

"Mummy!"

"Rinrin!"

"Merry Christmas dearest mummy! Happy holidays!"

"Ah, but isn't it twenty minutes away?"

"I have to make sure I am first, mummy."

"Awww, Rinrin, I love you."

"I love you too." Rin follows this up with a giggle.

"Rinrin—what do you think if I were to celebrate the new year with my darling princess?"

"Oh mummy, what are you going to do with Gou? I hope you're not taking her to Joël Robuchon again _without me_ ," Rin stresses the last part, seething with a resentment he can't let go of.

Mrs Matsuoka breaks into mirthful laughter. "There is only one princess in our family."

"What? WHAT. No no no mummy don't do this to me. Mummyyyyyy," Rin wails, broken in spirit. It's not fair that his mother and Gou have manlier names.

Rin continues wailing like a baby at his mother, and begins to throw a fit, reduced by sheer indignation to infantile behaviour. He accidentally stubs his toe while kicking the wall with flimsy bedroom slippers, and as he turns around to howl in pain he realises that Haruka has been watching him with that judgy look on his face.

"Er, mummy, F-Y-I, I'm actually in Sydney right now," Rin mutters, keeping his voice low, because Haruka is a nasty eavesdropper.

"Oh! Sydney! Are you with anyone?"

"Er...Haru and his parents," Rin's voice is barely audible.

"Oh," Mrs Matsuoka says.

The hint of disappointment is too much for Rin to bear. "I could ask them if they'd like you to join. I suppose they won't mind. When will you be here?" Although his mother cannot see, Rin is pouting away at the thought of having to ask Haruka to ask his parents for permission.

"Don't you think it will be too awkward, Rinrin? I'll get my own accommodation and you can join me when you have the time. Although, it would be nice if I could see everyone."

"Oh, you want to meet them? I could try asking."

Haruka's eyes are boring into him expectantly. _Right, he's clearly heard everything anyway._ Rin chases his mother off the phone as quickly as he can and ends the call.

"So, Haru," Rin tries to say, as casually as he can. "My mum is coming down. What do you say to a bit of meet-the-parents?"

Haruka's face is expressionless. "Only if I can have some of that."

"What's _that_ ," Rin asks, deliberately obtuse.

"Ask nicely," Haruka clarifies, clearly relishing the opportunity to exercise control over Rin.

_Fine._

"Haru...," Rin begins, packing in all the dere-dere sweetness he can muster without gagging, batting his eyelashes. It's practically the same tone he reserves for mother, which Rin finds really disgusting, the part about having to speak to Haruka in the same tone he reserves for his _dearest mummy_ , not that the tone he uses for his mother is disgusting because it totally isn't. It’s perfectly normal. Haruka has no right to claim the kind of special affection Rin has for his mother, _ew_.

Haruka remains impervious, so Rin tries again, throwing in a bit more breathless Marilyn Monroe into his voice. "Haru-sama... I have...a request to make..." —Fuck it. _Anything for mummy._ Rin punctuates this point with a silly, coquettish giggle— "Will you...will you..."

Rin's voice is getting increasingly strained as he resists the urge to burst out laughing, because, fucking hell, it works, it always works, like a switch, like magic, like fucking Pavlov and his dog. Haruka's eyes have widened and he's practically salivating. _He's so easy._

Rin lays a teasing finger on the collar of Haruka's t-shirt. He bites his lower lip and then looks away, feigning bashfulness. "Is it...too much to ask of you? ...In return, I promise you can do...whatever...you want with me...tonight."

Haruka suddenly grabs Rin by the hand, looking at him with a hard, penetrative stare and he utters something completely incoherent that can only be described as an animalistic grunt.

_What a primitive lifeform—but the deal is sealed._

***

—Ah, ah, Haru, hnngh, okay, ack, wait, stop, my foot is cramping, ah, better, like this, ow, geez, haah, hnnf, no wait leg going numb ow, okay, okay, whew, yeah, mmm, yeah, oh yes, oh, oh, right there, yes, like that, yes, unf, oh, oh, ah, OW OH FUCK OW IT FUCKING HURTS YOU MADE ME HIT MY HEAD OH FUCK OUCHIES—

A sharp rap on the door. "Hey," a tired voice says. "I know you boys are playing Twister but try to keep it down will ya?"

 _Fuck!_ Rin jams the corner of a pillow into his mouth to keep himself from crying out—in shock and panic and pain and whatever. Fuck this shit it was bad enough Haruka totally fucked him headlong into the headboard but to have Mr Nanase overhear and warn them about the noise? That is totally humiliating. Totally, crushingly humiliating.

"Twister?" Rin mouths to Haruka, voice wrangled into an inaudible whisper, rubbing pitifully at the back of his head. There is totally a burgeoning bruise and he'll need to get it checked out properly before he gets an aneurysm and dies and Haruka will totally regret being so inconsiderate and Haruka will have to mourn the untimely demise forever. "Is that your household euphemism for sex?"

Haruka's eyes have that glazed-over look, the same as fish that have been dead for too long, frozen by _coitus interruptus_. "I think my dad actually means the game," he utters robotically.

"Oh," Rin says, trying to evaluate if all the noise they made could plausibly come from a game of Twister. "But...why...Twister?"

"It's a family tradition," Haruka says, so intent Rin realises that he isn't lying. "We used to play it during the Christmas/New Year period, with my grandma too. My parents would always let me have a sip of their beer as well..."

"—Drunken Twister?!" Rin exclaims, nearly rolling off the bed in shock. "Underage drinking?!" Rin is starting to get a better grasp of what makes Nanase Haruka the Nanase Haruka that he is. _Explains much._

 

[Christmas Day]

There is a brunch of sorts, grilled tuna steak with bok choy, edamame and shimeji mushrooms; raw sea urchin on toasted slices of baguette; spanner crab in coconut green curry; razor clam ceviche; raw oysters with a choice of kombu and sake mignonette, spicy ponzu sauce or sesame mayonnaise sauce; and miso ozoni soup with the saikyo miso that Rin got as a gift from Nitori, which Haruka seems a little bristly about.

"Saikyo miso," Mrs Nanase fawns, inspecting the used packet all around.

"Yeah whatever when you have rich friends this is what you get."

"Geez Haru, what do you want me to say, that only your wonderful, amazing, extraordinary cooking saves this miso from being complete rubbish?"

"Say that again."

"No! Fuck off."

Mr Nanase clears his throat.

"Sorry," Rin mumbles, but shakes a fist at Haruka. He drains the rest of his soup and stares contentedly at his empty plate. His phone buzzes.

M: You are torturing me with these photos.

R: No tortured person uses this many smileys, doofus.

M: Teehee

R: (¬_¬)

M: (◕‿◕✿)

R: ( ˘ ³˘)♥

Mr Nanase has leaned back into his chair and pats at his very rounded belly. Mrs Nanase is still fondling the packet of saikyo miso. Believing that he can escape attention, Haruka surreptitiously snatches the serving bowl of ceviche and licks it clean of juices.

_Ugh. That boy._

Rin fires off a complaint to Makoto on his phone but Makoto seems to have gone offline.

"When do you have to be at the hospital, Rin-kun?" Mr Nanase asks. It suddenly occurs to Rin that this might be a good opportunity to get the bump on his head checked out, although that is decidedly not the purpose of his visit.

"In about an hour! I can drop you off somewhere in the city, nothing much will be open but you can walk around and take photos."

"You're such a sweet boy, doing this for the poor sick children," Mrs Nanase comments.

"Well," Rin says, feeling evasive. "It's this thing they asked a bunch of us to do as part of some sponsorship deal..."

"So you don't really want to go," Haruka accuses, sucking at the corner of an empty oyster shell. _For fuck's sake, there's nothing left in there._

"No, I mean, I love it too. It's really fun. But I didn't want to make it sound like it is all about me or anything."

"I didn't think it was about you at all until you brought it up."

"Let's not do this okay, Haru." _Fuck_ —Rin quickly scans the faces of the Nanase parental units—it is such bad form to start arguing in front of them. They seem oblivious, absorbed in their own world. "Sorry," Rin says, to no one in particular.

"Can I go with you?" Haruka asks softly, yielding to Rin.

"Er, I don't think random visitors are allowed. I think some background check is involved."

Haruka doesn't say anything, but looks down expressionlessly at his plate.

"Okay okay I'll call them up and see what I can do."

***

R: So the hospital director actually let him through, on condition that he dress up as Santa Claus and keep his hands off the children. I think the original Santa wasn't feeling too well anyway, bit of flu or something, so, lucky Haru I guess.

R: Except the pants just didn't fit at all, cos the original Santa is supposed to be, you know, rotund, and no amount of pillows were keeping the thing up, so he suddenly stripped off the pants, like, obscene stripper-style in front of everyone

R: I NEARLY DIED OF A HEART ATTACK GEEZ HARU WHY DOES HE KEEP DOING THIS

R: Yeah but it turned out he was wearing...jammers underneath...my jammers he fucking stole them from me the two hundred dollar serious racing pair FFS HARU

R: Yeah so he was like, Santa up top and jammers down below and then he said that he was "Santa Claus from the sea" and you know how his English is like wtf Makoto can you please intervene his English is like

R: I have to tell you this other story

R: So like, his English is bad, but he's also been taking lessons, right, and because of his lessons he's got like, this dubious posh British accent sometimes IT'S SO FUCKING WEIRD

R: So I was like, wtf Haru where did you pick that accent up. Is your English tutor like Stephen Fry. And he said, oh god Makoto I swear to god. He said, in the most serious tone ever

R: Yes, Stephen-sensei is English, but he is no Fry.

R: WTF I CANNOT WITH HARU ANYMORE

R: Yeah he also said he was wearing my jammers cos he was expecting to go to Bondi on Xmas day, and I was like, can't you just wear boardshorts like everyone else and he was like, I really like the fit of your jammers well yeah Haru they're two hundred fucking dollars and like, isn't it gross to have your crotch rub against fabric that has been clinging to someone else's crotch WAIT OH MY GOD NO NOT GOING THERE

R: Sorry. But like, the hospital visit was really great. I said, as a joke, that Haru was the Little Mermaid, you know like Ariel the Disney one, and he doesn't know how to act around humans, and he really, and I mean like really, got into the whole mermaid story thing, except he kept insisting he was the little mermaid's daddy which sounds really wrong now but all the kids thought it was hilarious somehow.

R: Nothing makes sense anymore.

R: I hope I didn't scare you away Makoto.

R: Also, we were supposed to give a little statement and I think I made a statement like, this Christmas, let us think of the legacy of Christmas Island detainees who still face inadequate healthcare and many of whom struggle with mental trauma and continue to face obstacles to life in the community and there was like this PR honcho who was giving me major murderous vibes but like, you know, I do what I do, freestyle like Haru~~

 

[Boxing Day]

"I cannot believe Icebergs was closed yesterday. Didn't you tell me all Sydneysiders go to Bondi on Christmas Day? Why would they close the most beautiful pool in the world on Christmas Day?"

"Um, because people need to rest? You had a great time at the beach anyway."

"Don't deny you abandoned me to take my parents to Chinatown for steamed meat dumplings."

"Not like you'd appreciate them anyway. Your parents, I am proud to say, were extremely grateful for the opportunity to taste some delectable Chinese _charsiu_ buns and _xiaolongbao_ soup dumplings and all wonderful, hearty types of meat that comes from animals with legs and live on land. Variety is the spice of life."

"Whatever. Whose idea was it to force fried chicken on me for dinner? I will hold this grudge forever."

"How is it possible for anyone to feel aggrieved about being fed fried chicken? _How?_ If you can tell me how I will tell you who."

Rin and Haruka are visiting the iconic rock pool at Bondi Beach, having left the Nanase parental units in the city to shop and explore to their hearts' content. Mr Nanase woke up bright and early, having done ample research on the nature of Boxing Day sales to know what he has to do— _Boxing Day is just like our second of January! Do you think I should write in to suggest lucky bags?_

They get up to the pool deck, and conversation evaporates for a while. The weather is perfect, summer sun dazzling, pool blending seamlessly into the brilliant blue ocean. Haruka is eager to dive in but Rin pulls him away for a quick photo to send to Makoto before letting him go.

Some other people decide to ask Rin for a photo op, and Rin feels good enough on this day to gladly agree.

The day: frothy waves crashing upon the side of the pool and stealing secret kisses from Haruka, salt crystals on the lips. After the pool, walking beachside holding hands, being okay that people glance at him with recognition and smiling back at them, yet grateful of the space they allow him. Haruka deciding to go surfing, accusing Haruka of being more Australian than him, taking a stroll by himself down the esplanade, doing a video chat with Makoto until his phone nearly dies on him, Haruka a speck in the distance.

Salt-baked tan and completely at ease, they pick the Nanase parental units up—shopping bags stuffed with macadamia nuts, nougat bars, clip-on koalas and so on. They have dinner back at the apartment, fried rice made with the leftovers of everything. They'll be outside of town for the next four days, back on the thirtieth for the new year in a different apartment.

***

[New Year's Eve]

R: Fucking disaster.

R: Cannot believe I let them go ahead with this.

R: All of them.

R: You'd think they'd be all Japanese and formal and respect boundaries and stuff. Nice, quiet dinner full of quiet contemplation.

R: Actually, it was my fault. Why did I tell my mum it's okay for her to show up.

R: I cannot believe I slept with Haru for this.

R: I did not sleep with Haru for his parents to say they'll prepare New Year's Eve dinner just because my mum is showing up.

R: Do you know what the parental units are doing now.

R: They're playing Twister.

R: They got drunk

R: They're getting on like a house on fire

R: I don't know why I was so nervous and anxious about getting the parental units to like each other.

R: Now I wish the whole thing hadn't happened

R: I don't know why Haru is so comfortable around my mother either

R: He keeps talking about her amazing bathroom

R: And then my mum has to keep saying her bathroom is like really crappy.

R: And then she's like, oh but your son is such a sweet and considerate boy he keeps my bathroom so clean whenever he comes by to use it and he's so clever, and brilliant, and accomplished blah blah

R: And then Haru's parents are like no no our son still has a lot of improving to do before he becomes a real man he has all these problems now how about your son blah blah

M: Blah blah? Wait. I want to hear what his parents said about you

R: No way. You know they're just saying this stuff because Japanese parents.

M: No tell me!!!!

R: No fuck off

M: o(╥﹏╥)o

R:  ｡･ﾟﾟ･(>д<)･ﾟﾟ･｡

R: Anyway yeah drunk people outside causing a ruckus

M: Don't you want to join them? You really shouldn't hide yourself in the bedroom.

R: It's fine. I can talk to you here.

M: Go outside.

Rin sees Makoto go offline on him. He waits for Makoto to come back on, but Makoto doesn't.

_Ugh._

Rin drags himself out of bed and into the living room. The television screen is on, and it's connected by video chat to...

_Gou's apartment in Tokyo._

Makoto smiles at him, face eclipsing the large LED television screen.

It's like an arrow through Rin's heart—he wants to keel over on the floor, wounded. He whips out his phone.

R: Wait. Why are your parents there?

M: Your mother said it would be good to have some adults supervising Gou's party since there are so many boys about

R: Right. What an excuse.

M: It's nice though.

R: Real nice.

"Left leg blue!" Nagisa yells on the television, and Mr Nanase shifts his leg, wobbling precariously.

"Right hand cerise," Haruka says, and on the other side, Rei stretches uncertainly across on that stupid DIY Twister mat with "aesthetically pleasing" colours that is Rei's harebrained scheme and executed with pride by Art Director Haruka with minions Gou and Nagisa in another convoluted story that will take too much time to tell, as is the nature of all their stories.

There is a sudden wail of anguish that precedes Rei collapsing to the ground like a slain spider, body upturned with limbs twitching as the soul departs the physical realm.

"Nooooooooo, Rei-chan, Rei-chaaaaan," Nagisa begins to scream, dragging the words out and moving like in a slo-mo action scene to hurl himself over Rei's motionless body.

"We win! We win!" Mrs Nanase cries, helping her husband up from the mat.

"Where is the Salonpas," Mr Nanase mutters, rubbing his back. "I'm not young anymore."

"Here it is," Haruka says, suddenly the dutiful son.

"Five more minutes to midnight!" Mrs Matsuoka interrupts. "Whoever needs to go to the toilet please go now!"

"Yes, mummy," Rin says automatically, even though he has no need for it. _How awkward._ Now everyone thinks he is going to pee. Should he pretend to go anyway? Rin catches sight of Makoto smiling at him. He wants to keep looking at that face.

"Actually I don't need to go," Rin mumbles, and hides himself behind a large cushion. At the corner of the television screen he spies Gou grinning away behind pursed lips, trying not to laugh. He whips out his phone again.

R: Stop laughing at me.

G: I'm not laughing!!! You can see for yourself.

R: But deep down you really want to laugh. Admit it, sister.

G: Not...laughing!!! Mummy's boy! Mummy's boy!

R: Evil liar! Evil liar!

G: Why at you calling me names on New Year's Eve I'm going to tell mummy.

R: WHAT THE.

Rin looks up, having sworn audibly in addition to the text message. His mother shoots him a warning glare.

Gou starts sniggering away on the other side, shoulders shuddering in triumphant laughter.

"Based on the output of international atomic time, adjusted for the slowing rotation of the earth, I am informed that it is precisely one minute to midnight at your current location," Rei prattles while tapping at his watch, having recovered from his Twister defeat just in time for the countdown.

_Sixty!_

_Fifty-nine!_

"What are we going to do in the two hours between your New Year and our New Year?"

"We can play Twister again."

"Yes! Yes Twister!"

"Only if these young ones do it. Salonpas can only go so far."

"Don't exert yourself."

"I'll do it."

_Thirty-four_

_Thirty-three_

"I'm going to point the camera outside our balcony so you can see the fireworks."

"Oooooh! You have such an amazing view! Who found this place?"

"We have Haruka-kun to thank for this! For an unbelievable price too, I was told."

"Oh. I thought it would be Rin-san."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean!"

"Rin-chan, it is unlucky to start the year in an agitated mood."

_Fifteen_

_Fourteen_

"Modern technology is wonderful, don't you think? It beggars belief that some people continue to blame technology for cultural erosion, as if culture was ever a fixed thing, or that they have sole purview in defining what culture is. I for one am extremely grateful to partake in a multi-location celebration, surrounded by friends—such a scene can only be expressed as beau—"

_Happy New Year!_

_Wishes, laughter, and dreams of good fortune. Stay rooted, fly high, don't forget what it takes to make the old new._

 

[6th January 2018]

"I can't believe we have to leave this place so soon!" Mrs Nanase dabs at the corner of her eyes with a square of pocket tissue.

"Yes, it seems such a shame," Mr Nanase nods in agreement, folding the Hawaiian shirt into his backpack with a solemn expression.

" _Okasan_ , two days ago you complained about missing your daily television shows."

"Do you think I don't know how to operate a tv recorder, you insolent boy?" Mrs Nanase smacks Haruka on the side of the head.

Haruka doesn't say anything in reply. _Would it be possible to steal him away from his parents for a sec?_

_Unlikely. I'll have to make do with last night._

"Goodbye, Rin."

"It's 'see you', Haru." _Fuck it_ —Rin falls into Haruka, and Haruka has to catch him. "Not goodbye."

"See you then," Haruka says stiffly, arms loosely wrapped around Rin.

"Fuck you," Rin whispers to Haruka, because Haruka will not hold him tighter, nor fonder, not in front of his parents.

"I have to go," Haruka mumbles, pushing him away.

 _Don't cry_ , Rin thinks to himself, and in his mind he hears it in Haruka's voice.

Rin cries anyway. It's so foolish, so embarrassing, but he can't stop it.

"Rin-kun..." Mrs Nanase says, folding him with immediate concern into her ample bosom. But the idea of pouring his tears into someone else's mother's chest terrifies Rin so much he swiftly stops crying. He gathers himself and tries to shoo the Nanase family off into the immigration area.

As they walk farther from him Rin can hear vestiges of their conversation.

"Rin-kun is the sweetest angel of a boy. Why did you let Makoto snap him up? I would love to have a son like him. You see, this is your problem. You are not proactive enough. You know I'm not getting any younger, Haruka, and every day I worry that you will die alone. You should learn to be like Makoto! Treasure a good thing when you see one! You know, I'm so desperate as your mother I really don't care who you end up with anymore...just as long as it has a pulse..."

Haruka is looking over his shoulder at Rin.

Rin raises a middle finger at Haruka. _Just wait...just wait till his mother finds out what's really going on._

R: He's on his way back to you.

M: I know.

R: Couldn't be happier to be rid of him.

R: Over and out~~

M: You say that now...

R: I'll say that again

Rin leaves the airport with a smirk on his face.

**Author's Note:**

> Footnotes:
> 
> -This fic takes place in 2017, so let's hope by that time gay marriage is fully legal in Australia
> 
> -Barbie = barbecue in Australianese
> 
> -Westfield Chatswood is a large shopping centre in the suburb of Chatswood in the North Shore area of Sydney. (Wikipedia)
> 
> -Fukubukuro is a Japanese New Year's Day custom where merchants make grab bags filled with unknown random contents and sell them for a substantial discount, usually 50% or more off the list price of the items contained within. (Wikipedia)
> 
> -Salonpas is a brand name of a line of over-the-counter pain relieving products manufactured by Hisamitsu Pharmaceutical Co. (Wikipedia)


End file.
